It matters not. If you acted in good faith, with what you knew then, that is honourable. Sometimes we cannot see or feel what we carry. But fellow journeymen can. They are with you, and may have already been there.
Create space to relax into them. Life manifests from within, not outside. Undescribeable riches await those brave, humble and strong enough to seek out and follow an uncharted course.
Only you know if you are ready to take that first step. Feeling bold? you should also be afraid. Fearful of what you might discover? That's where the riches are.
We 12 are One.